Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Burial






Two days ago
I helped to slide a box
That held
The shell
Of a woman
Who was my grandmother
Into a cement room
The box coming to a gritty halt
At an angle which left me unfulfilled
On top of another vaulted dwelling
That houses my grandfather's shell
Next to yet another where my favorite auntie

A Saint
Is laid.

And there they will stay
Until the winds
And storms
Of a future time
Scatter the dust of their remains
Into a a new world which I cannot conceive.

Two days ago
I
Along with Seven other Men
Navigated two precarious wooden planks
As we crossed the trench
And landed on a small patch of mud and grass and Ashes

And Old

Carrying a beautiful brown Wooden box
Which held within its finite walls
A beautiful Brown Lady
Who looked vaguely familiar
Yet Nothing like I had imagined.

And the women
Her daughters
Sang hymns
As a stranger
Poured water
And mixed
More Cement
Piecing together
A jigsaw puzzle
Of stone
And mud
The wall
The gate
Growing in size
Until it reached the top

More water
More hymns
Bodies shifting
High heels magically remaining upright
In the uneven Earth
In the old.

Two days ago
As the dusk landed on our heads
And in our hearts
We celebrated the end of an era
As a stranger smoothed the last of the wet cement
With indifference
And my cousin carved the brown lady's  beginning and end
With lines that slanted
The woman who gave me warm bread

Every day

Was finally laid to rest
Leaving us
Her family
Her tribe
Here
To Carry on

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Salt Fish and Bakes

104 years old

My grandmother has one foot in this world
And one foot in the next
Granny
I pray that your journey is full of joy and laughter
I pray that Granddad is right there waiting for you
I pray that all your undeniable faith is rewarded
I pray that you're okay

I love you with all the heart that you gave me

You took me in
When no one else would
You gave me safety
And Bread
Special hugs with arms that felt as if made for me

You also tore this ass up
On many
Many
Afternoons
As the salt water breeze came through the 3rd street window
To a chorus of "NO GRANNY, IT WASN'T ME"

We all got it
"and in this judgement there is no partiality..."

You gave so much
To so many

A legend
Built from sheer will
Sweat
Solid arms
And bread baked every afternoon
Bread that would be shared with all who were fortunate enough
To walk up the steps on the side of the house
And venture in
To Granny's house

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Adams"
Serene
Mums
Itta
Granny

So I pray for you this day
Wishing that I could do more
Knowing that what I can do
Will do
Must do
Is all because of you
And your You
The beauty of it
Undeniable
Unshakable

Serene
Madeline
VanSluytman
Adams

Granny
Gran
Granny
Gran
Granny
Gran

Granny.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Safe

~As we approach our final week of performances
It has become more clear than ever what a gift this play - The Brothers Size - has been~



Such is this gift
That I don't want to let it go
Yet I must

This has been one of those moments that, as an actor, I have craved
The timing has been perfect
It has allowed me to grow and journey
Into the fertile land that is the love between Black Men
A love that I continue
A love that I try to throw against the wall in my work
A love that has pulled me, pushed me, held me, terrified me, kept me
For most of my years
Alive

Such is this gift
That I feel I can't let it go
Yet I think I must

As is the case at the end of every run
One moves on
One lets go and moves forward
With hopefully a little more than when he started

Yet

This play - The Brothers Size
Has brought back to life my best friend who was... is... is...
Elegba
Lil Legba
Legba
Drifting like the moon
Appearing at my window
Like a Glimmer Of moonLight
For a moment
Standing in the early morning air
For a moment
Singing a song
Eating candy
For a moment
Is gone
Is gone?

Such is this gift
That I don't want to let it go
Must I?
Should I?
Dare I?

"Hell to the nah!"
This is one of those gifts that comes along once in a LifeTime!
Once!

So I think I'll keep this one
Sew up this hole in my pocket
And place it there
Safe
Safe

I'll keep this one
Put it in my pocket
Take these pants off
Put them in a secret
Safe
In the moonlight
Safe
From the midnight riders
Safe

Safe!





Friday, September 21, 2012

My Gratitude

A rainy, chilly morning in the Mini Apple.
I miss my kids.
Even though I saw my son's football game yesterday
And relived so many childhood and adolescent memories through the way he played
The way he moved
Even though I saw him
Looked into his eyes
I miss him this morning
I miss his sister
My daughter
Even though we're in the general vicinity of each other
Even thought we "connect" through texts and messages and distant laughter
I miss her
I miss her mind
I miss her heart
I miss her hugs
The way she would rub my head when I wasn't feeling well
And tell me stories until I fell asleep
My STRENGTH and WISDOM
My PRIDE and JOY
I miss you
I miss you both
You are my gratitude
You are my breath
You are my gratitude
You are my breath
You are my gratitude
You are my breath...

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Sunday Morning

 Sunday Morning

I've always heard my fellow actors worry, as they come to the end of a job, if they'll ever work again. I suppose I've felt that trepidation at different times also. What I know now, at this point in my 30 year career, is that every opportunity is priceless and absolutely unique. I know that there are no guarantees about that next gig no matter who reminds you that 'you work all the time!' I supposed I'm a little (or maybe a lot) worried today because, once again, as I look down the road I have no real idea of what I'll be doing - nothing tangible, nothing guaranteed. Yet, as I stop to pause, I realize that none of us really knows what's down the road. None of us! And though some may have a clearer idea than I do, I refuse to be consumed by fear and trepidation on this SUNDAY MORNING. Why? Because it's Sunday Morning, and today I'm choosing to be filled with God's Grace; today I'm choosing to be grateful for the job that I DO have; today I choose to be thankful and relish in the blessings that have been gifted to me. I have two amazing teenagers who fill my world with joy. I have the love of a wonderful woman who has my back. I have the gift of creativity that God gave me. I have my health, and yes - I still have a job - I get to go onstage later and spit HOLY WORDS written by one of God's Messengers.  Today, I have it all.

This Sunday morning - I am the most blessed man in the world!

Monday, August 27, 2012

That Bridge

Okay world, HERE GOES.

I'm new to this world of blogging and, even though I've planned to do this for a while, it just hasn't been the right time. To tell the truth, I still don't know if it's the right time. From someone who is very private with... well... private stuff, it's a huge leap to share my... private stuff. Of course I'm thinking to myself, 'well then share stuff that's not so private. What do you want to say? Why? Who's it for? Get out of your comfort zone. Connect with others. Stop procrastinating.' Um... yeah.

So I'll go slow and be simple and hope that my offerings will speak to someone out there who reads this.

STILL STANDING
I went to that bridge
I really did.
And started to walk across.
Midway
I stopped
And thought
And looked
For an answer to a world that had landed on my head
For a reflection that would say my name
For a song that would straighten my back
And girder my voice
And entomb the dark ashes
That skidded down
Stopping, only for a moment,  on that high cheekbone ledge.
My face
Lost eyes
Empty hands that had forgotten their hue.

I went to the bridge
That bridge
That door
And Midway I stopped
And looked behind
For an answer
To this song with no music
Looked to the sky
For that bird
Looked to the water for a mermaid
A siren
Another world
Where I could be
Where I could simply be
At rest

And in that murky
December water
With voices underneath that would be trapped till Spring
I stole the briefest glimpse
Of a man
This man
Oh, man
Still standing